A New Sub-series

Lately, my interactions with people seem to bring up a sense of “Anxiety”. As a lifelong student of Leadership and Communication, I have decided to put out a short series of pieces on anxiety and if — IF — it helps people, I will move forward with a course on the topic as well.

I see it working with the college-aged kids at church, my kids, entrepreneurs on network night, and clients close to a product launch. There is an easier way… and I am not talking about “Big Pharma”.

Whether you believe some and imagine standing on a sandy beach, looking out at the sea. Each year of human existence, from the first humans, is represented by a grain of sand on that beach. In this example, a teaspoon of sand equals the presence of modern people. (Note – this makes for good content, but some believe the earth is much younger… that is another series)

Maybe you believe a different tale… picture a giant water cooler bottle filled with jelly beans. You are the one awesome buttered popcorn jelly bean and the rest of the flavors and colors represent all the generations of people who came before you.

The countless grains of sand or jelly beans represent the rest of human history. This shows that most of humanity’s existence has been far from modern.

Since we know our ancestors influence our mental, physical, and even cellular makeup, this beach sand example is revealing. It shows how powerful the influence of past humans is on our current reality.

Our minds are largely shaped by the experiences of those who were focused on merely surviving. Though that isn’t our current situation, our minds still see threats to our survival as a real possibility.

Humans evolved to survive and reproduce. Happiness, fulfillment, fame, success, and other modern concerns are just that: modern. They have existed for only a tiny sliver of our history. That’s why your mind is programmed almost exclusively for survival and not much else. Your still-ancient mind doesn’t care much about those modern desires.

Our minds still operate from a survival-only mindset. They constantly view our world as a collection of threats to our survival. That inner voice that never stops is often negative.

It paints the worst possible picture and dreams up ridiculous scenarios because it tries to prepare you to survive these and other perceived threats. Never mind that our modern world isn’t trying to end our existence daily like it was for our oldest ancestors.

This is a good thing if you want to reduce and prevent feelings of anxiety.

Using Pleasure, Pain, and the Negativity Bias to Beat Anxiety

The negativity bias is a powerful part of your ancient survival instinct. You could do a dozen good, positive things and just one negative thing and your mind would focus on that negative situation. Again, this goes back to survival.

Your mind believes that if it can remind you of this negative outcome you created, you will avoid it in the future. It doesn’t care about patting you on the back and making you feel good because you did a dozen great things.

Now let’s look at pain and pleasure.

Your DNA has been shaped to make you a pain-avoidance machine. It also drives you to seek pleasure. Over time, it has noticed behaviors that allowed your ancestors to survive and reproduce, attaching positive emotions to those actions.

Your DNA also contains memories of thousands of years of your ancestors’ pains. Pain is linked to threats to your survival, so you unconsciously and automatically want to avoid it.

This Is a Breeding Ground for Anxiety

The negativity bias keeps you anxious. It’s always stressing you out. A constant pursuit of pleasure also causes high levels of anxiety. Your mind gets worried whenever you’re not feeling pleased and happy. It’s afraid you’ll encounter the pain that its ancient memory banks recall all too well.

How can this knowledge help you if you want less anxiety?

This allows you to view constantly anxious thoughts as your alter ego. Make it a different character or persona from yourself. Call it your unhappy counterpart or give it a silly name. Give this counterpart your anxiety, stress, and worry. It’s not yours.

When anxiety strikes, as soon as it starts creeping into your mind, tell it you’re not listening. View your anxious thoughts as things that someone else is thinking.

Sometimes you might be anxious for a good reason. You have an upcoming test and haven’t been studying much, so instead of giving in to anxiety, take some time to study before the test.

In most cases, you’ll find that your anxious, usually negative thoughts do nothing but damage your life. They aren’t preparing you for anything that’s going to happen or could happen and are instead causing unnecessary stress and worry.

Your brain is plastic to an extent. It can be molded and shaped. You can create a different mental makeup than you currently have. You do this when you tell your stress and anxiety that they belong to your ancient ancestors and not to you.

Understand that this exercise can help when mild anxiety is at work. If you are constantly anxious to the point that it threatens your daily routine and quality of life, contact a mental health professional. You may be suffering from an anxiety disorder rather than normal doses of anxious feelings that can be treated with this mental reprogramming method.