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EP110 I.A.P. with Dr. T
A conversation with Dr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva about communication The short story on Dr. T. Dr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva, aka "Dr. T," is a psychotherapist, author, and founder of Advocate2Create. In her book, Why Are We Fighting?, she introduces the IAP Model: Intention, Action, Perception, a “Google Translate” for communication. With…
Kurt von Ahnen
CEO
A conversation with Dr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva about communication
The short story on Dr. T.
Dr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva, aka “Dr. T,” is a psychotherapist, author, and founder of Advocate2Create. In her book, Why Are We Fighting?, she introduces the IAP Model: Intention, Action, Perception, a “Google Translate” for communication. With over 12 years of experience, she specializes in grief, trauma, and couples therapy, integrating research-backed strategies to improve relationships. She also provides clinical evaluations for immigration cases, combining her mental health expertise with her background in immigration law.
About the Show
In this engaging episode of the Manana No Mas! podcast, host Kurt welcomes Dr. Patricia Timmerman, a Brazilian psychotherapist specializing in trauma, grief (particularly suicide grief), anxiety, and communication. Dr. Timmerman, or “Dr. T” as her students affectionately call her, dives into her work with couples and her unique communication model, Intention Action Perception (IAP), which forms the basis of her book.
Dr. T shares the inspiration behind her book, sparked by personal experiences in her marriage and observations from her therapy practice. The IAP model addresses why miscommunications happen, emphasizing that intentions are internal, actions are external, and perceptions vary between individuals. She began writing during her honeymoon, but faced the common writer’s plateau. Encouraged by a fellow podcaster, she completed the book, which includes theory, coping strategies, and practical worksheets.
The conversation explores how IAP applies not just to personal relationships but also to workplace dynamics. Dr. T and Kurt discuss how misaligned communication styles—like differing expectations around status updates—can lead to misunderstandings. They share anecdotes, including Kurt’s experience misinterpreting a boss’s silence as disapproval, when it was actually a vote of confidence.
Dr. T highlights the importance of understanding others’ “emotional bank accounts” (referencing Gottman) and “love languages” (Chapman) as part of IAP’s “currency exchange.”Dr. T also touches on the challenges of digital communication, where tools like texting or Slack can strip away tone and context, leading to misinterpretations.
She shares strategies like the “Rule of Three Interpretations” to consider multiple perspectives and the “Three Columns of Communication” (venting, deciphering the message, and choosing the best delivery method) to improve clarity.
Reflecting on her book’s publication, Dr. T admits she didn’t fully anticipate what would follow but aimed to share actionable strategies. She wishes she’d focused more on pre-launch marketing. Looking ahead, she plans to develop courses for therapists, individuals, and corporate settings, and is already working on a second book with new strategies like the “post-conversation” technique for resolving conflicts through curiosity.
Where to Connect:
Get Dr. T’s book on Amazon or visit her website, www.advocate2create.com, for speaking engagements or consultations. Check out her trainings at advocate2create.teachable.com. Follow the podcast for more insightful episodes!